Tombstone unveiling

Last Friday, before flying home, I was given the honour and privilege of attending a tombstone unveiling. My work colleague and friend Zipporah, or Zippy, had invited us - Rob and I - to this special event.

I first became aware of unveilings soon after arriving on the island. Some days would seem to be very quiet - hardly anyone in the shops, on the streets, and if you went out for a meal or a drink that evening - again, the place would be almost empty. On asking "where is everybody?" I'd be told - tombstone opening. Initially I was confused and shocked - they open a tombstone?!!? But now I nod and say: "Oh - that explains it".

The word "opening" is a misnomer - it's actually an unveiling. The unveilings usually take place on a weekend - this makes it easier for family and friends with work committments to attend, or if they need to come from an outer island or even the mainland. It's a big event - let me explain.

When a family experiences the death of a loved one they are naturally grieving. So to honour this time and to give them their due respect, the in-laws take over all arrangements for the funeral and wake. By in-laws I mean the extended family and/or very close and dear friends. The grieving family does nothing.

After the burial and when that family is ready to finish the grave by commissioning the headstone, they also get ready to host a tombstone opening or unveiling. This usually takes place roughly two years after the loved one's death, although this time frame can vary.

Now it is the turn of the grieving family to thank the in-laws for what they did when their loved one died - the roles are reversed. This time the in-laws are served, waited on and given gifts.

Invitations are sent out to the family, in-laws and special friends. Advertisements are also placed in the paper to invite the community. Zippy did me a great honour when she gave me a personal invitation to her cousin Gina's unveiling. Although a cousin by birth, Gina spent most of her growing up years living with Zippy and her siblings and was more like a sister than a cousin. She died at a very young age, 34, having already lived a very full and productive life but still on the threshold of a promising career - so much yet to do.

On the day of the unveiling the finished grave, with the new headstone, is covered - the headstone is actually wrapped with plastic, the grave is covered with copious pieces of material and linen, some beads, anything made of fabric - these are the gifts. The entire plot is surrounded by a temporary fence that is decorated with flowers and coloured lights and closed off by a ribbon.

The ceremony begins with a blessing and the MC then calls on a family member or friend to cut the ribbon and declare the grave opened. After this, the in-laws and close friends are called by name to stand around the grave - these are the people who looked after the family in their time of grief. Once all  names are called, the group uncovers the grave by placing all the gifts which adorned it into bags. After the ceremony, they will go through the bags and choose a selection of the gifts for themselves.

But before that, they need to take down all the decorations so that the grave is again bare, except for the flowers. Unfortunately we don't get fresh flowers on T.I., so all floral arrangements are artificial. Another person is then called to read the inscription on the headstone.

After the unveiling - a closing prayer and a song. What's important to remember is that this is a time of celebration - a celebration of the loved one's life. I was told to wear something floral as it was a festive occasion.

The graves decorated and ready for unveiling - they have a festive look about them. This is a time to celebrate the loved one's life.

Linen, flowers and gifts adorn the grave.

Cutting the ribbon and declaring the gravesite opened.

In-laws and friends retrieve their gifts

The day doesn't end there. As with most celebrations in the Torres Strait food plays an important role and this is no exception. Later that night we enjoyed a feast - an amazing feast of traditinal food and lots of it. 

The special guests are again all called by name and invited to sit at the main table. The food is placed there for their convenience and comfort. The rest of us served ourselves from the fantastic buffet tables that were literally groaning with platters and dishes of food. 

The feast later that night.

This is the main table for family and special friends who are being thanked at the unveiling.

And to end this most memorable day - traditional dancing - by both males and females. Zippy had been practising all week and it all finally came together on the night :-)

Traditional dancing marks all special occasions. My friend Zippy is in the front row, closest to the camera, in yellow.

It was explained to me that the timing of the unveiling has to do with a couple of  factors. One is financial - to finalise a grave is very expensive anywhere, let alone on T.I. which is remote and attracts freight charges along with everything else.

The next is practical: as you can see an unveiling takes a lot of work and preparation - to decorate and dress the grave, and to cater for the feasting. 

And thirdly, the unveiling is a sign that the family is finally prepared to let their loved one go, to free them of their earthly binds and to let them now enjoy their new life in spirit world. My friend Julie waited seven years before finally unveiling her brother's grave - it was just too hard to let go.

I wish Rob had been with me. What a privilege to be asked to experience and enjoy this beautiful islander custom. What a wonderful way to farewell your beautiful island home.

Life - it's worth celebrating.

T.I. weekend

Rob has been away for two weeks and yes, I do miss him .... when I get the time :-)

Friday was a designated public holiday here on T.I. - Show Day - and the shire council had organised a community fun day in the park. We loved it - perfect weather, food stalls, tents for shade, chairs to sit on and .... a talent quest.

This was the first year that the council has staged a talent quest on Show Day - and they certainly made it worthwhile - first prize was $2000, second prize $1000 and $500 for third. For that money even I was tempted to maybe face the crowd. After all I am a graduate of the Ailan Kores - I've been on stage.

But somehow I missed the cut off date for registration so I settled for being an observer. And I am so glad I did - miss the registration, that is. We are talking serious talent here, and seriously my talent is not ..... it's just not :-)

The acts were amazing, fantastic, unbelievable. Torres Strait islanders have a natural ability to sing and harmonise - they make it look so easy - and listening to them is just pure pleasure. I'm talking young or old, male or felamle - they can sing :-)

The trusty Rotary sausage sizzle - Jen (bending over), Helen, Dorothy, Ron (at the BBQ) and Frank. Frank is our president.

This is the winning group - the Bani brothers - they have a great sound. Notice the backdrops - they're from the music festival. The organisers donated them to the council to be used on occasions such as this.

 

This young boy, Jack,  received an encouragement award - he brought the park to a standstill. He sang "Ben".

I don't have photos of the second and third place getters. Third place went to a young lad who did a sort of rap number, and second place went to a beautiful young woman, a new mum in fact, who sang a haunting ballad.

The talent quest is to be a two yearly event. This year's show attracted 19 acts and judging from its success, I am certain that the next one will be fiercely contested. Don't know if I'll be here, but it will be some show.

My Garden

Do you remember a while ago Rob - and Kacee - and I did a bit of a make over in the backyard? Well I've been working steadily since then and what was once a barren ugly piece of dirt is slowly becoming something nice.

Before - yuk!

Getting there :-) The pots belong on the deck - I put them out to get a sprinkle. All of the plants have come from cuttings.

The grass is slowly coming along. I've planted seeds and I sprinkle daily - it's a labour of love :-)

A pretty patch in my garden :-)

So - all in all - my weekend has been very full. I do miss Rob and I look forward to seeing him on Tuesday when I fly down - Qantas strike permitting :-)

But it's good to be busy. And on this lovely island, so far away, life is never dull - be it doing the everyday and mundane or experiencing the island way of life.

Life is good.

Culture Day at Tagai

Thursday 14th September was Culture Day at Tagai Secondary Campus with activities that included a yarning circle (story telling), singing, weaving, dancing, art displays and a traditional feast - big kai kai.

This is Torres Strait culture at its best and Auntie Lizzie and the team at the Language and Culture Centre worked hard to prepare for the day. They organised food and volunteers to prepare and cook the feast, they organised local craftspeople and elders to run the various craft and cultural activities. And they worked very very hard to train both students and staff in ilan dancing which was the main entertainment on the day.

Island elder Uncle Signess Weriat opens Culture Day with a traditional welcome

Weaving with Auntie Lizzie

Auntie Tamie and primary school children. She has an amazing voice and was one of the island soloists in the Ailan Kores earlier this year.

Elders and the Yarning circle. The Language and Culture Centre is the white building on the left with the large deck.

More story telling with Auntie Lizzie. Lizzie was also one of the members of Ailan Kores and accompanied Tamie to sing an island hymn - they are sisters-in-law.



Well ... it is culture somewhere :-)

Many hands make light work in the Home Ec kitchen

Setting the table for big kai kai

And enjoying big kai kai

Students were assessed on their dancing. Language and Culture is a subject at Tagai.

Male teachers under the guidance of Richard - front left with the red garland - they bought the house down! Richard is from one of the outer islands and is the Language and Culture teacher at Tagai.



Female staff with Auntie Lizzie - front, yellow flowers. I'm in the back row, second left with the pink/purple flowers. We made our own dresses- I finished mine at 11pm Wednesday night, the night before .... sort of a last minute thing :-)

Culture Day was the last day of the school calendar. And what a way to finish off a very busy and full term for both teachers, students and staff.

This was my first term at Tagai as Public Relations Officer - I loved it :-) My days are full, varied and interesting. I can't wait to get back and hit the ground running for Term 4. How many more sleeps?

Life is good :-)

A walk around the island

I know I've shown you this view before but I think the tide was out. I wanted to show you how beautiful it is - this is what I see when I come out of the walkway from our back gate. I love taking Kacee for a walk on the beach - she loves it. I've started collecting seaweed to use as mulch on my garden beds. It works a treat.

 

This is Anzac Park from the foreshore. Anzac Park is an oasis of greenery and calm in the middle of Douglas Street.



The Jardine Motel, just around the corner from where we live. The Governor and Anna Bligh have stayed here on recent visits ..... along with a lot of other people.

Do you like our turtle family? - they live on the foreshore :-)

This is the wharf where you will arrive when you come to visit me. The yellow shop is the Jetty Shop. They sell great gifts - jewellery, books, t-shirts, some homewares.

And the welcome sign that will greet you :-)

This beach is between the two wharves - it's not used much

I wonder why? Unfortunately this sign is common on our lovely beaches.



Back on Douglas Street, near the other end. The one and only bank. Which bank isn't there? The shop next door houses R&Fs - the island dollar shop & fast food outlet - a laundromat and travel agency. The island looks lush at the moment - sprinklers worked overtime greening the place up for Anna's visit last weekend.



The Pearl Shop - run by the beautiful Vanessa - home of pearls, accessories and fashion

The other side of the street from the Pearl shop - the new Commonwealth Government building. It was officially blessed and opened last Monday by Anna Bligh. See how close the water is? - it's never too far away from anywhere.

This is our local radio station 4MW. This is where I take the school leaders every Thurdsay to do a pre-recording for a show called the Education Hour which is aired on Friday. It is broadcast on TI and the outer islands and is a great way to keep parents and the community informed about what is happening at the high school.

Catching up

I haven't blogged for a while, so I thought I'd bring you up to date with the help of a few photos and a brief summary of events as they happened.

IBIS cook-off
In an effort to promote healthy eating IBIS hosted a cook-off between the mayor, Pedro Stephen, and a member of Anna Bligh's community cabinet that was visiting the island last Sunday.

IBIS employs a full time nutritionist, Jasmina, who assists in the presentation and display of healthy food choices throughout the store. Sadly it's a bit of a battle up here. And while the cook-off "kitchen" was well set up with lots of healthy looking vegetables, brochures and posters it was not all that well attended.

But - Jasmina is not giving up :-) and IBIS will continue to offer healthy alternatives to the community.

Healthy food cloices at IBIS

The contestants are briefed by IBIS nutritionist Jasmina

Mayor Pedro cooks up a healthy stir fry

Rob's Birthday

August 30 was Rob's birthday and what better way to celebrate than with family and friends. And while our real family is back in Brisbane, we are fortunate to have another family with us here on T.I. - our backpacker family.

I gave Rob two choices for his birthday dinner - a meal at the Fed or let's stay at home and have dinner with the "kids". He opted for dinner with the kids.

Toasting Rob with Hannah and Zoe

Leanna, Yves and Hannah

The birthday boy

Rob's girls - Nikki, Hannah and Leanna

Our birthday feast :-)

Farewell Leanna and Dan 
While I love having the backpackers living here there is a definite downside - they eventually leave. Today we farewelled Leanna and Dan as they move onto to the next leg of their backpacking holiday.

These gorgeous young people did steal my heart - the gentle, softly spoken, protective Dan; and Leanna - petite, beautiful, cool, calm and collected. Both of them showed a maturity beyond their young years. Saying goodbye was hard.



Dan and Leanna

Leanna, Nikki and Dan - they are all from the same place, Newcastle upon Tyne. Nikki will meet up with them in November.

First class seats on McDonald's ferry - amazing views and fresh air

Rob

This morning, before the kids left, I had another farewell. Rob has flown to Brisbane for a back operation. After months of pain, doctors, physio, numerous drugs and sleepless nights we have decided that enough is enough and last week Rob was finally given a referral to go to Brisbane.

Dr Redmond will perform keyhole surgery tomorrow and Rob will be out on Wednesday. Natalie, his daughter, will take him back to her place in Oakey to convalesce. I will join him in two weeks.

We are both looking forward to starting a new life - a life without pain, a normal life.

Waiting for the good news and keeping positive - life is making us stronger.