The men in my life

Rob and I arrived in Brisbane bright and early Thursday morning, safe and sound after a smooth two hour flight from Cairns. I'd flown in from TI the night before and met up with Rob at Rydges hotel where we shared a lovely meal and a couple of glasses of wine in the hotel dining room. It was nice to be together after four days apart and while Rob was still in pain, we both felt that once back home things would turn out for the better. And they have :-)

We saw the specialist on Thursday afternoon and she has told us that Rob does not require surgery for his injury. She is confident that after a course of cortisone injections and some very specific physiotherapy he will heal. Thank God. It was so great to finally have him seen by a professional who knew what they were talking about, knew what to do, was willing and able to take control and to make things happen.

Over the next three to four weeks things are going to get better.

I'm also here for another reason. My brother Phil has been diagnosed with lung cancer - it seems it's been there for a while. Yesterday I went to the hospital with Mum - I hadn't seen him since February when I left to go back to TI - and although he looks sick and is very thin, I thought he looked just like Phil.

Mum left us for a short time while she spoke to the palliative care co-ordinator which gave us a chance to catch up and talk about what's been happening. He still has his wicked, dry sense of humour and Mum came back into the ward to find me laughing at something he'd said and Phil shaking his head at his own joke.

He'll be in hospital at least until Monday while they fine tune his medication, and then they'll send him home to be cared for by Mum, me (while I'm here) and the palliative care team. This morning I went to see him by myself. When I got there he was up and about to take himself into the garden (the beer garden as he calls it) for some fresh air.

We sat outside for about an hour and a half and he talked the whole time. I feel sad because (i) my brother and I have never sat and talked for one and a half hours before and (ii) he is holding onto a bit of anger. At one point I told him to let it go, but then I decided that he needed this time to vent, that maybe if I just sat and listened he could get it out and feel better. So that's what I did. I sat, I listened, I didn't agree or disagree - I was just there. And it was good.

I'm amazed at how easy it was to be with him and to say the things that we did. We talked openly about things that should have been awkward but it wasn't. And, his dry sense of humour is still alive and well, so much so that I found myself making jokes at his expense, which he thoroughly enjoyed :-)

I want Phil to have peace of mind and if that means being with him for ten minutes or for hours as he talks,  remembers, laughs, cries, hopes, dreams, sleeps - or we just sit and watch TV together, then so be it. I'm sad for me that I've waited so long to spend quality time with my brother.

Life is about opening your heart to love.