In the midst of life .....

I'm not one for new year's resolutions - why put myself under that kind of pressure? Instead I have chosen to set goals - realistic goals, do-able goals, achievable goals. And not a lot of goals either - again, why put myself under that kind of pressure?

Now I won't bore you with the details. Do you really want to read how I plan to live a healthier lifestyle - exercise daily, eat clean food and rid my system of sugar? No - I didn't think so.

But I will share with you my intention to stay in an attitude of gratitude every day - with God, the Universe and the angels. Airy-fairy? No, not really. Just grateful.

I can list off in my head any number of things that have me in this state and while obvious they are not by any means of a lesser blessing. On the contrary - health, fitness, the love of family and friends, a loving partner, my adorable grandchildren - healthy and growing beautifully, a beautiful home in a beautiful place, a loving puppy (although she is 8 years old now - getting on, isn't she?), a job I love, colleagues who make my work environment joyful - I can go on and on.

But today I feel most grateful for the blessing of my mother. My mum - a woman who gets on my nerves, who drives me crazy with her ideas and stubbornness, who gives advice when I don't want it (or need it for that matter!), who does and says things that leave me gobsmacked and wondering what planet she is visiting today. My mum - the woman who leaves fresh milk, bread and fruit for us to find when we get back from holidays, who brings over chicken soup when she knows I'm not well (yes - chicken soup), calls around regularly to see how we are, who rings when I forget to, who has supported me through a marriage breakup and a new relationship, who accepts my friends, who adores my kids (and they her) and delights in her great-grandchildren.

This woman who had never heard of gluten free until my girls became gluten intolerant, will now cook her famous crumbed chicken with GF breadcrumbs and keeps GF pasta in the pantry as well.

My mum surprised and delighted me last year when she agreed to accompany me to Perth to meet up with Rob for a short holiday after his stint in one of the mines where he trains in Western Australia. I was concerned that she might baulk at having to travel at night (don't ask me why) and that we would be arriving in Perth at midnight. For some reason I thought that would faze her. But not at all. When I rang to inform her of the flight schedule she asked "What are you going on about? It's all part of the adventure Silvana" (!).

We holidayed well together and she joined in willingly on the wine tour, trying out different foods, trying to keep up with us on walks, taking great pleasure in the WA wild flowers and scenery. My greatest buzz was watching her on the flight back home - Rob was able to upgrade us to business class with his points. She took to that like a duck to water.

Recently my kids and I bought her an iPad for her birthday. We thought it would be a good way to keep her interested and stimulated - you know, keep her brain active so that she doesn't get bored. Any doubts I may have had about our idea went out the window the  minute she unwrapped the gift, took the iPad in her hands and asked how to switch it on. And we haven't looked back since.

I'm sharing these little snippets with you because yesterday I attended the funeral of my best friend's mother. My girlfriend Maria had texted me just after Christmas to let me know that her mum, Connie, was on life support. That in itself was a shock. I kept in touch with Maria daily by text, rang the family every couple of days to offer my support ... and prayed. I really thought she would pull through. God knows the woman was as stubborn as my mother. In fact they are both Scorpios and their birthdays are only 3 days apart.

But she didn't. And yesterday I watched as a family laid their mother to rest. It was heartbreaking. Maria brought the church to its knees with the most beautiful eulogy that I have heard given at a funeral in a long time. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren paid tribute to their Nonna with wonderful memories of special times and special traditions.

After the service I found Maria and hugged her as I have never hugged her in all the years of our friendship - 55 years. We have known each other for 55 years and the first time we met was through Connie. Our mothers were talking outside the year 1 classroom on the first day of  our first year at school.  Maria was shy and clinging to her mother's dress, I was confident and cool - after all I was a kindy graduate so I knew the drill. Connie said to me "Why don't you go and talk to this little girl?" meaning Maria. So I did ... and the rest is history.

I've thought about this a lot since Connie's passing. And I've thought about my own mum a lot too. And how lucky I am to still have her. No doubt she will continue to bug me and boss me around (well she'll try to). And no doubt I will react. But I have a feeling that my reactions now will be slower, that I will allow stuff to just go by me and that I will cut her a bit more slack.

In this new year of sadness for my best friend, may I help her to honour the memory of her mother by cherishing what I have. Thank you to God, the Universe and my guardian angels for the gift of my mum - stubborn, hard working, generous and kind.

Life is ever changing.