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"I need a coffee!" - how often have you said that? How often have you emailed or called a friend and finished off by saying "we really must catch up, let's get together for a coffee"? Or as a very famous movie star once said "come up and see me sometime" - I'm sure she was talking about coffee.
How did it all start? Legend has it that in the year 850 a goatherd (a lonely goatherd?) in the hills of Ethiopia noticed that his herd became a bit friskier after eating the berries of a certain shrub. After trying the berries himself and experiencing their wonderful effect he then shared his find with the local monks who declared it the work of the devil and threw the beans into the fire. But after retrieving the beans, putting them into water and drinking the brew the monks then proclaimed that it was a miracle and continued to drink it to help keep them awake during their evening prayers.
The first coffee houses were opened in Mecca in the 13th century and soon became places of social interaction - chess and backgammon were played there, gossip was exchanged, singing, dancing and music were enjoyed - and all for the price of a cup of coffee.
Coffee shops are still centres of social interaction. You can visit any coffee shop on any given day and see groups of friends catching up, business people with their laptops, job interviews in progress, students relaxing after an exam or study, couples ..... and lots of first dates.
What makes a place your favourite coffee shop? For me it's a combination of things - when I walk in I want to smell that rich, warm inviting aroma of coffee brewing. I want the staff to welcome me, to be friendly but not intrusive. I like the lighting to be a bit dim, the furniture comfortable - couches are a bonus, they give the place a cosy feel. I like to see a selection of food on offer and it must look fresh, inviting. A decent selection of current magazines and the morning paper is a must.
I can sit in my favourite coffee shop, or any coffee shop for that matter, on my own, and feel very comfortable. I blend in - I don't have to have a companion. I can sit and read a book or simply watch the world go by.
My favourite coffee, a cappuccino, in my favourite coffee shop is a work of art. The perfect cappuccino - which takes its name from the cappucin monks, the layers in the cup representing the different layers of the monk's habit - is made up of 1/3 coffee, 1/3 milk and 1/3 froth. The barista is the artisan.
Let's begin: the coffee takes about 20 to 30 seconds to flow from the machine into the cup and it is rich, dark and syrupy, not bitter or burnt. It has a reddish-brown crema that sits gently on top. The milk for my cappuccino is steamed to the right temperature and has a creamy, velvety texture. The barista pours this hot foamed milk over the shot of coffee resulting in a thick creamy foam forming on top ....... and I am treated to a sprinkle of chocolate. When I finish drinking it, it leaves a coating of crema on the inside of the cup. And the taste in my mouth is exquisite.
So - what do you say? Let's get together - let's have a coffee.
Life is good.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Saturday, March 1, 2014
The year of turning 60
Yesterday was my friend's birthday. Not just any friend .... and not just any birthday.
My dear and almost oldest friend Julie celebrated her 60th - a milestone in anyone's calendar - and together with her loving family and friends old and new, we enjoyed a night of fun, reminiscences, soothing background music (well she is 60) and delicious food. Her beautiful husband Peter, aided and abetted by their two gorgeous children organised a couple of surprises to add to the excitement and joy of her special day.
Julia and I met in primary school - year 3 - and were inseparable all those years through to year 7. Once in high school our circle of friends expanded yet we remained close even though new and different girls came into our lives. And the fact that one of us had the freedom to explore and enjoy adolescence while the other was subjected to a strict Sicilian upbringing was at times challenging. But friendship is about accepting and through those sometimes difficult years Julie was always an ally. I'm sure there were times when she didn't get it - hey, neither did I - but I always knew that she was there for me.
Over the years we came and went. We left school, worked in totally different careers, married, travelled, eventually had babies, moved houses, wouldn't see each other for years and then a phone call and we would reconnect. Although our paths went in different directions yet at some point the Universe would arrange for us to get together again, stay for as along as needed and then move on.
In recent years we have both lost a loved one and it was like losing one of our own. When you have a friendship this their family becomes your family too. So the loss of a mother or a sibling is as heartbreaking for one as the other.
Julie has been back in my life for a couple of years now and what inspires me about this vivacious, bubbly woman is her generosity. Julie lives the adage "a friend in need is a friend indeed" and willingly and instantly gives of herself when she knows that someone is doing it tough. She heard about an organisation called the Pyjama Foundation which arranges for volunteers to visit children in foster homes and through the beauty and magic of books, provide them with friendship and a constant in their otherwise uncertain lives. She became a Pyjama Angel and recently was honoured at a celebration dinner when one of her "children" got up to thank her for her friendship and for introducing him to the wonders of reading. I wish I had been there.
Last night I watched as Julie enjoyed her night - mixing and mingling, sipping her champagne like a lady (hehe), looking fabulous in her blingy clingy dress (looking good for 60 Jules) and just .... beaming. I watched as she soaked up the love from each and everyone of us as we helped her to celebrate this very special birthday for this very special lady.
Life is good.
My dear and almost oldest friend Julie celebrated her 60th - a milestone in anyone's calendar - and together with her loving family and friends old and new, we enjoyed a night of fun, reminiscences, soothing background music (well she is 60) and delicious food. Her beautiful husband Peter, aided and abetted by their two gorgeous children organised a couple of surprises to add to the excitement and joy of her special day.
Julia and I met in primary school - year 3 - and were inseparable all those years through to year 7. Once in high school our circle of friends expanded yet we remained close even though new and different girls came into our lives. And the fact that one of us had the freedom to explore and enjoy adolescence while the other was subjected to a strict Sicilian upbringing was at times challenging. But friendship is about accepting and through those sometimes difficult years Julie was always an ally. I'm sure there were times when she didn't get it - hey, neither did I - but I always knew that she was there for me.
Over the years we came and went. We left school, worked in totally different careers, married, travelled, eventually had babies, moved houses, wouldn't see each other for years and then a phone call and we would reconnect. Although our paths went in different directions yet at some point the Universe would arrange for us to get together again, stay for as along as needed and then move on.
In recent years we have both lost a loved one and it was like losing one of our own. When you have a friendship this their family becomes your family too. So the loss of a mother or a sibling is as heartbreaking for one as the other.
Julie has been back in my life for a couple of years now and what inspires me about this vivacious, bubbly woman is her generosity. Julie lives the adage "a friend in need is a friend indeed" and willingly and instantly gives of herself when she knows that someone is doing it tough. She heard about an organisation called the Pyjama Foundation which arranges for volunteers to visit children in foster homes and through the beauty and magic of books, provide them with friendship and a constant in their otherwise uncertain lives. She became a Pyjama Angel and recently was honoured at a celebration dinner when one of her "children" got up to thank her for her friendship and for introducing him to the wonders of reading. I wish I had been there.
Last night I watched as Julie enjoyed her night - mixing and mingling, sipping her champagne like a lady (hehe), looking fabulous in her blingy clingy dress (looking good for 60 Jules) and just .... beaming. I watched as she soaked up the love from each and everyone of us as we helped her to celebrate this very special birthday for this very special lady.
Life is good.
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| With dear friends Moya (left) and Julie (right) We're not getting older, we're getting hotter |
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Size does matter
We have a man shed - one of those aluminium (strong and durable of course) custom made, perfect fit sheds with a window for fresh air and two doors for easy access. It's been a long time coming, this shed, and the preparation and planning was meticulous and precise until the final execution or should I say, erection.
I have to agree with Rob on this and say that yes, we did need another shed. When we bought the house it came with a tiny garden shed at the side and it barely has enough room to hold the lawn mower and a couple of garden tools. As a result the double garage has become the storage shed, so much so, that we have room for only one car (mine) and Rob's has had to sit outside in the weather. We did need another shed.
Now as you know - you don't just buy a shed and plant it in a corner of the yard where there happens to be a space. No, no, no. This is a project in itself - where to put the shed. Obvious sites are rejected with a patronising explanation as to why it can't possibly go there - reasons ranging from access issues to proximity to the house.
Once a site has been chosen then the fun begins - well for Rob it did anyway. Brochures were pored over and hours spent on the internet researching places, prices, styles and the all important size. Because when it comes to sheds my friends - size does matter. But nothing seemed to suit - those off-the-shelf numbers just weren't cutting it and finally Rob decided that this was too important to just make do. It had to be right, it had to fit the space, it had a job to do - it had to be custom made - a no brainer.
The rest pretty well fell into place and the shed builder - chosen with care and a lot of research - was able to assist and guide Rob through the next stages of shed acquisition - concreting, power supply and finally the delivery and installation.
What a day that was. The excitement was palpable and I almost felt sorry that Rob had to go to work and was not able to hang around and watch while the miracle unfolded. I'm sure he knew at what point each screw and fixture was coming together and could envisage the structure as it grew and developed until finally .... he had a shed.
The past two weekends have been a series of trips to Bunnings and Masters, buying shelves, plastic crates, little storage systems for screws, nails and other little bitsy things. And finally this weekend Rob has had fun installing shelves, emptying the garage of tools, boxes and other stuff, organising and rearranging in his shed.
There is a little bit left over that didn't quite fit but with clever shelving and rearranging in the garage he has been able to accommodate them and we can fit in both our cars. Happy days.
Last night I noticed that the mower was sitting out on its own, sort of homeless. There didn't seem to be a space for it in the garage and the new shed is quite full. Maybe it goes in that space in the middle and Rob will just move it out when he needs to go in and work there or look for something. Yes, that's what he'll do.
Last night at dinner (mini lamb roast with vegetables and mint sauce) I casually asked about the mower. "Oh - I haven't told you what I'm doing have I? (Pause) I'm getting another shed....."
Life is good :)
I have to agree with Rob on this and say that yes, we did need another shed. When we bought the house it came with a tiny garden shed at the side and it barely has enough room to hold the lawn mower and a couple of garden tools. As a result the double garage has become the storage shed, so much so, that we have room for only one car (mine) and Rob's has had to sit outside in the weather. We did need another shed.
Now as you know - you don't just buy a shed and plant it in a corner of the yard where there happens to be a space. No, no, no. This is a project in itself - where to put the shed. Obvious sites are rejected with a patronising explanation as to why it can't possibly go there - reasons ranging from access issues to proximity to the house.
Once a site has been chosen then the fun begins - well for Rob it did anyway. Brochures were pored over and hours spent on the internet researching places, prices, styles and the all important size. Because when it comes to sheds my friends - size does matter. But nothing seemed to suit - those off-the-shelf numbers just weren't cutting it and finally Rob decided that this was too important to just make do. It had to be right, it had to fit the space, it had a job to do - it had to be custom made - a no brainer.
The rest pretty well fell into place and the shed builder - chosen with care and a lot of research - was able to assist and guide Rob through the next stages of shed acquisition - concreting, power supply and finally the delivery and installation.
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| Rob preparing for his man shed |
What a day that was. The excitement was palpable and I almost felt sorry that Rob had to go to work and was not able to hang around and watch while the miracle unfolded. I'm sure he knew at what point each screw and fixture was coming together and could envisage the structure as it grew and developed until finally .... he had a shed.
The past two weekends have been a series of trips to Bunnings and Masters, buying shelves, plastic crates, little storage systems for screws, nails and other little bitsy things. And finally this weekend Rob has had fun installing shelves, emptying the garage of tools, boxes and other stuff, organising and rearranging in his shed.
 |
| A place for everything - and everything in its place .... for now |
There is a little bit left over that didn't quite fit but with clever shelving and rearranging in the garage he has been able to accommodate them and we can fit in both our cars. Happy days.
Last night I noticed that the mower was sitting out on its own, sort of homeless. There didn't seem to be a space for it in the garage and the new shed is quite full. Maybe it goes in that space in the middle and Rob will just move it out when he needs to go in and work there or look for something. Yes, that's what he'll do.
Last night at dinner (mini lamb roast with vegetables and mint sauce) I casually asked about the mower. "Oh - I haven't told you what I'm doing have I? (Pause) I'm getting another shed....."
Life is good :)
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
A sense of camaraderie and pride
Where is your Tupperware drawer/cupboard? Mine is under the oven (now a new oven, 11 functions no less - very intimidating ... but I digress). When we left Dahlia Street I actually culled quite a bit of "tupperware". I put the word in inverted commas because it wasn't all real Tupperware. I had some fakes - take-away containers, some cheap plastic things that were out of shape and often lid-less and quite a few items that I wasn't using anymore.
Now my Tupperware drawer is organised, tidy and is a mixture of the real thing and some imitations.
Why am I telling you this? Well - Rob has been asking me for ages to bake him a sponge cake. Now, modestly speaking, I'm pretty good at making cakes (ask my family) but a sponge? Uh - no. So for ages I've been trying to sidetrack him, throw him off the scent. I even convinced him that really, it wasn't a sponge cake he wanted, it was a madeira cake. Yes Rob - it is a plain cake.
But with a new oven comes new enthusiasm and a desire to try something .... new. So onto taste.com and voila - "Easy Sponge Cake". I was ready for the challenge.
I am happy to report that now Rob has his sponge cake - finally - and can eat it too. I was so pleased with the end result that I posted a picture on Facebook for all the world to see. And said sponge was proudly and unashamedly displayed on a Tupperware cake storer (I think that's what it's called, but am happy to be corrected). And not a new ansty-fancy one either - no new shades of pastel or vibrant fluro. It was the old, or should I say 'classic' yellow that was once the colour of Tupperware.
My friend Trish noticed and commented. And got me thinking. Everyone knows Tupperware. I don't know about you but I am regularly bombarded on Facebook with requests to 'share' pages that depict old Tupperware items. It was even a topic in a Seinfeld episode - remember Kramer and the 'burp'?
There's something comfortable and familiar about it - nostalgic. One of the first toys I bought for Hannah and Alana was the Shape-O ball - and they love it. Just as Ford Festiva owners have a sense of camaraderie and pride (apparently) when they see another Festiva on the road, so too do Tupperware users.
Oh yes, I've been tempted by imitators over the years - who hasn't? - with their fancy promises and claims of keeping our sandwiches fresh and our muffins moist. But has anyone yet come up with anything comparable to the meat marinator, the lettuce saver, the chicken storer thing and the olives container with the middle bit that lifts up and brings the olives out of the oil and brine? I'm sure the answer is NO! And if they have, well ... pfft
Tupperware - worthy of its own space in the kitchen, be it a drawer or a shelf in the cupboard. Tupperware - worthy of being labelled so that it doesn't get lost in the lunch room or mixed up with someone else's container. Tupperware - worthy of being sold exclusively in your own home while we sip on champagne and taste food that has been kept fresh in a display set that the hostess will win if everyone buys up big and books a party.
I know it's expensive, I know that there are other products that may do the same job but really has anyone ever heard of a Décor drawer?
Life is good.
Now my Tupperware drawer is organised, tidy and is a mixture of the real thing and some imitations.
Why am I telling you this? Well - Rob has been asking me for ages to bake him a sponge cake. Now, modestly speaking, I'm pretty good at making cakes (ask my family) but a sponge? Uh - no. So for ages I've been trying to sidetrack him, throw him off the scent. I even convinced him that really, it wasn't a sponge cake he wanted, it was a madeira cake. Yes Rob - it is a plain cake.
But with a new oven comes new enthusiasm and a desire to try something .... new. So onto taste.com and voila - "Easy Sponge Cake". I was ready for the challenge.
I am happy to report that now Rob has his sponge cake - finally - and can eat it too. I was so pleased with the end result that I posted a picture on Facebook for all the world to see. And said sponge was proudly and unashamedly displayed on a Tupperware cake storer (I think that's what it's called, but am happy to be corrected). And not a new ansty-fancy one either - no new shades of pastel or vibrant fluro. It was the old, or should I say 'classic' yellow that was once the colour of Tupperware.
My friend Trish noticed and commented. And got me thinking. Everyone knows Tupperware. I don't know about you but I am regularly bombarded on Facebook with requests to 'share' pages that depict old Tupperware items. It was even a topic in a Seinfeld episode - remember Kramer and the 'burp'?
There's something comfortable and familiar about it - nostalgic. One of the first toys I bought for Hannah and Alana was the Shape-O ball - and they love it. Just as Ford Festiva owners have a sense of camaraderie and pride (apparently) when they see another Festiva on the road, so too do Tupperware users.
Oh yes, I've been tempted by imitators over the years - who hasn't? - with their fancy promises and claims of keeping our sandwiches fresh and our muffins moist. But has anyone yet come up with anything comparable to the meat marinator, the lettuce saver, the chicken storer thing and the olives container with the middle bit that lifts up and brings the olives out of the oil and brine? I'm sure the answer is NO! And if they have, well ... pfft
Tupperware - worthy of its own space in the kitchen, be it a drawer or a shelf in the cupboard. Tupperware - worthy of being labelled so that it doesn't get lost in the lunch room or mixed up with someone else's container. Tupperware - worthy of being sold exclusively in your own home while we sip on champagne and taste food that has been kept fresh in a display set that the hostess will win if everyone buys up big and books a party.
I know it's expensive, I know that there are other products that may do the same job but really has anyone ever heard of a Décor drawer?
Life is good.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
In the midst of life .....
I'm not one for new year's resolutions - why put myself under that kind of pressure? Instead I have chosen to set goals - realistic goals, do-able goals, achievable goals. And not a lot of goals either - again, why put myself under that kind of pressure?
Now I won't bore you with the details. Do you really want to read how I plan to live a healthier lifestyle - exercise daily, eat clean food and rid my system of sugar? No - I didn't think so.
But I will share with you my intention to stay in an attitude of gratitude every day - with God, the Universe and the angels. Airy-fairy? No, not really. Just grateful.
I can list off in my head any number of things that have me in this state and while obvious they are not by any means of a lesser blessing. On the contrary - health, fitness, the love of family and friends, a loving partner, my adorable grandchildren - healthy and growing beautifully, a beautiful home in a beautiful place, a loving puppy (although she is 8 years old now - getting on, isn't she?), a job I love, colleagues who make my work environment joyful - I can go on and on.
But today I feel most grateful for the blessing of my mother. My mum - a woman who gets on my nerves, who drives me crazy with her ideas and stubbornness, who gives advice when I don't want it (or need it for that matter!), who does and says things that leave me gobsmacked and wondering what planet she is visiting today. My mum - the woman who leaves fresh milk, bread and fruit for us to find when we get back from holidays, who brings over chicken soup when she knows I'm not well (yes - chicken soup), calls around regularly to see how we are, who rings when I forget to, who has supported me through a marriage breakup and a new relationship, who accepts my friends, who adores my kids (and they her) and delights in her great-grandchildren.
This woman who had never heard of gluten free until my girls became gluten intolerant, will now cook her famous crumbed chicken with GF breadcrumbs and keeps GF pasta in the pantry as well.
My mum surprised and delighted me last year when she agreed to accompany me to Perth to meet up with Rob for a short holiday after his stint in one of the mines where he trains in Western Australia. I was concerned that she might baulk at having to travel at night (don't ask me why) and that we would be arriving in Perth at midnight. For some reason I thought that would faze her. But not at all. When I rang to inform her of the flight schedule she asked "What are you going on about? It's all part of the adventure Silvana" (!).
We holidayed well together and she joined in willingly on the wine tour, trying out different foods, trying to keep up with us on walks, taking great pleasure in the WA wild flowers and scenery. My greatest buzz was watching her on the flight back home - Rob was able to upgrade us to business class with his points. She took to that like a duck to water.
Recently my kids and I bought her an iPad for her birthday. We thought it would be a good way to keep her interested and stimulated - you know, keep her brain active so that she doesn't get bored. Any doubts I may have had about our idea went out the window the minute she unwrapped the gift, took the iPad in her hands and asked how to switch it on. And we haven't looked back since.
I'm sharing these little snippets with you because yesterday I attended the funeral of my best friend's mother. My girlfriend Maria had texted me just after Christmas to let me know that her mum, Connie, was on life support. That in itself was a shock. I kept in touch with Maria daily by text, rang the family every couple of days to offer my support ... and prayed. I really thought she would pull through. God knows the woman was as stubborn as my mother. In fact they are both Scorpios and their birthdays are only 3 days apart.
But she didn't. And yesterday I watched as a family laid their mother to rest. It was heartbreaking. Maria brought the church to its knees with the most beautiful eulogy that I have heard given at a funeral in a long time. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren paid tribute to their Nonna with wonderful memories of special times and special traditions.
After the service I found Maria and hugged her as I have never hugged her in all the years of our friendship - 55 years. We have known each other for 55 years and the first time we met was through Connie. Our mothers were talking outside the year 1 classroom on the first day of our first year at school. Maria was shy and clinging to her mother's dress, I was confident and cool - after all I was a kindy graduate so I knew the drill. Connie said to me "Why don't you go and talk to this little girl?" meaning Maria. So I did ... and the rest is history.
I've thought about this a lot since Connie's passing. And I've thought about my own mum a lot too. And how lucky I am to still have her. No doubt she will continue to bug me and boss me around (well she'll try to). And no doubt I will react. But I have a feeling that my reactions now will be slower, that I will allow stuff to just go by me and that I will cut her a bit more slack.
In this new year of sadness for my best friend, may I help her to honour the memory of her mother by cherishing what I have. Thank you to God, the Universe and my guardian angels for the gift of my mum - stubborn, hard working, generous and kind.
Life is ever changing.
Now I won't bore you with the details. Do you really want to read how I plan to live a healthier lifestyle - exercise daily, eat clean food and rid my system of sugar? No - I didn't think so.
But I will share with you my intention to stay in an attitude of gratitude every day - with God, the Universe and the angels. Airy-fairy? No, not really. Just grateful.
I can list off in my head any number of things that have me in this state and while obvious they are not by any means of a lesser blessing. On the contrary - health, fitness, the love of family and friends, a loving partner, my adorable grandchildren - healthy and growing beautifully, a beautiful home in a beautiful place, a loving puppy (although she is 8 years old now - getting on, isn't she?), a job I love, colleagues who make my work environment joyful - I can go on and on.
But today I feel most grateful for the blessing of my mother. My mum - a woman who gets on my nerves, who drives me crazy with her ideas and stubbornness, who gives advice when I don't want it (or need it for that matter!), who does and says things that leave me gobsmacked and wondering what planet she is visiting today. My mum - the woman who leaves fresh milk, bread and fruit for us to find when we get back from holidays, who brings over chicken soup when she knows I'm not well (yes - chicken soup), calls around regularly to see how we are, who rings when I forget to, who has supported me through a marriage breakup and a new relationship, who accepts my friends, who adores my kids (and they her) and delights in her great-grandchildren.
This woman who had never heard of gluten free until my girls became gluten intolerant, will now cook her famous crumbed chicken with GF breadcrumbs and keeps GF pasta in the pantry as well.
My mum surprised and delighted me last year when she agreed to accompany me to Perth to meet up with Rob for a short holiday after his stint in one of the mines where he trains in Western Australia. I was concerned that she might baulk at having to travel at night (don't ask me why) and that we would be arriving in Perth at midnight. For some reason I thought that would faze her. But not at all. When I rang to inform her of the flight schedule she asked "What are you going on about? It's all part of the adventure Silvana" (!).
We holidayed well together and she joined in willingly on the wine tour, trying out different foods, trying to keep up with us on walks, taking great pleasure in the WA wild flowers and scenery. My greatest buzz was watching her on the flight back home - Rob was able to upgrade us to business class with his points. She took to that like a duck to water.
Recently my kids and I bought her an iPad for her birthday. We thought it would be a good way to keep her interested and stimulated - you know, keep her brain active so that she doesn't get bored. Any doubts I may have had about our idea went out the window the minute she unwrapped the gift, took the iPad in her hands and asked how to switch it on. And we haven't looked back since.
I'm sharing these little snippets with you because yesterday I attended the funeral of my best friend's mother. My girlfriend Maria had texted me just after Christmas to let me know that her mum, Connie, was on life support. That in itself was a shock. I kept in touch with Maria daily by text, rang the family every couple of days to offer my support ... and prayed. I really thought she would pull through. God knows the woman was as stubborn as my mother. In fact they are both Scorpios and their birthdays are only 3 days apart.
But she didn't. And yesterday I watched as a family laid their mother to rest. It was heartbreaking. Maria brought the church to its knees with the most beautiful eulogy that I have heard given at a funeral in a long time. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren paid tribute to their Nonna with wonderful memories of special times and special traditions.
After the service I found Maria and hugged her as I have never hugged her in all the years of our friendship - 55 years. We have known each other for 55 years and the first time we met was through Connie. Our mothers were talking outside the year 1 classroom on the first day of our first year at school. Maria was shy and clinging to her mother's dress, I was confident and cool - after all I was a kindy graduate so I knew the drill. Connie said to me "Why don't you go and talk to this little girl?" meaning Maria. So I did ... and the rest is history.
I've thought about this a lot since Connie's passing. And I've thought about my own mum a lot too. And how lucky I am to still have her. No doubt she will continue to bug me and boss me around (well she'll try to). And no doubt I will react. But I have a feeling that my reactions now will be slower, that I will allow stuff to just go by me and that I will cut her a bit more slack.
In this new year of sadness for my best friend, may I help her to honour the memory of her mother by cherishing what I have. Thank you to God, the Universe and my guardian angels for the gift of my mum - stubborn, hard working, generous and kind.
Life is ever changing.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
A woman of a certain age
Layering - the art of dressing in layers so that as you warm up or cool down you can either take off an item of clothing - e.g. a cardigan or a scarf - or add an item - e.g. a longer sleeved top, a cardigan or a scarf. Layering - the art of dressing for the menopausal woman.
It came home to me this morning as I sat in church. While adding my croaky voice to that of the very sweet sounding choir as they sang their repertoire of uplifting hymns I happened to glance down at my bag. Sitting just inside the zip was my red pashmina - warm and comforting - and jutting out next to it - where I had placed it not two minutes ago - was my white fan.
When I had arrived I was wearing the pashmina and appropriate gear for a coolish Sunday morning. Two readings and two hymns down and I had peeled off the pashmina and fished around in my rather largish bag - too big it turns out when I want to find something in a hurry - to look for my fan.
Then followed the menopause tango - a layer on, a layer off, a layer on, a layer off - repeat until .... well until you feel comfortable again. aarggh!!
Life is ..... hot, then it's cold ...... hot again ..... cooling down...... :-)
It came home to me this morning as I sat in church. While adding my croaky voice to that of the very sweet sounding choir as they sang their repertoire of uplifting hymns I happened to glance down at my bag. Sitting just inside the zip was my red pashmina - warm and comforting - and jutting out next to it - where I had placed it not two minutes ago - was my white fan.
When I had arrived I was wearing the pashmina and appropriate gear for a coolish Sunday morning. Two readings and two hymns down and I had peeled off the pashmina and fished around in my rather largish bag - too big it turns out when I want to find something in a hurry - to look for my fan.
Then followed the menopause tango - a layer on, a layer off, a layer on, a layer off - repeat until .... well until you feel comfortable again. aarggh!!
Life is ..... hot, then it's cold ...... hot again ..... cooling down...... :-)
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Grandparenthood
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| Alana and Hannah - new borns |
I would listen in bewilderment as they told me how 'funny' their grandchildren were - how they did this and that and "oh gosh, I could just sit and watch them all day". What?? Really? All day?
How can watching a baby be .... funny? interesting? worthy of telling and retelling? All babies smile, crawl and grasp at hands - why is this clever? Get a life.
What I didn't realise is that they did have a life - the life of the grandparent. And what a life!
Now - I find myself stopping innocent passers-by and regaling them with little snippets of information about my grandchildren - my twin grand-daughters Hannah and Alana.
Like the time I attended the funeral of my sister-in-law's father. It was in the little township of Nobby on the Darling Downs and after the very moving and emotional service we all gathered at the local church hall for the wake. The room was filled with family and close friends and I knew none of them save for my sister-in-law's immediate family.
But from across the room I spied a young mother, sitting on the stairs leading up to the stage, feeding her new born baby. I made my way over to her - a woman on a mission - and smiled. "How old is he?" (he was wearing blue, that's how I knew it was a boy), "he's lovely," (he was), "is he good?"
And then I started. I couldn't stop. The words just poured out of my mouth. "I have twins .... identical .... girls. Well, I don't (laugh), my son and his wife actually have them ......" and it went on and on. How gorgeous they are, how much joy they bring me, how I sleep over once a week to help ..... on and on and on.
The young woman sat, and listened ..... politely, And I could see in her face the question - "who is this woman?" I suddenly came to and made a hasty retreat. I looked around and desperately tried to find my sister-in-law Debbie so that I could (1) hide and (2) confess. I had to get it off my chest and bring her in the loop so that when she later heard about a deranged woman ambushing her cousin/friend/whoever, she could make an impassioned plea on my behalf and explain that I am a new grandmother and please - could they just cut me some slack?
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| Mirror image - who's who? |
Friday, May 4, 2012
Back in the saddle
I’m sitting in a favourite coffee shop that Rob
and I discovered one night quite by accident. We had just had a wonderful dining
experience at a local restaurant – well sort of local - and before getting in
the car and driving home, we went for a leisurely stroll. Just a bit further
down the road I noticed a new establishment – Tonn’a beanz – cute name - and although
it was closed as we looked through the glass we could see that it was very clean
and inviting.
Rob and I ventured back after about a week and met Troy, the owner, and his lovely Mum who helps him out. This place has it all – great coffee, friendly atmosphere, friendly service and each and every time we’ve been since that first visit, we are made to feel so very welcome.
Rob and I ventured back after about a week and met Troy, the owner, and his lovely Mum who helps him out. This place has it all – great coffee, friendly atmosphere, friendly service and each and every time we’ve been since that first visit, we are made to feel so very welcome.
The décor is clean and crisp – lime green and
white, wooden venetian blinds and black accessories. You may be thinking that
this is a paid advertisement – it isn’t. It’s just the thoughts and feeling of
a very satisfied customer who wants to see this gorgeous young man succeed in a
very competitive industry.
Tonn’a beanz now does weekend breakfasts and I’ve
already locked it into our schedule once Rob gets back from Laos.
So – what has this got to do with anything? Well … it’s a start, that’s what it’s about. It’s
about getting me back into the saddle of blogland.
I’ve missed blogging – and the reason I stopped?
Well I don’t feel interesting anymore. You see being on TI I felt different and
interesting enough to want to share my experiences with everyone. Originally I
did it to keep family and friends up to date, but then it sort of grew of it’s
own accord. And I loved it.
But once we came home I lost confidence in myself
as a blogger because … well, what could I possibly have to say of interest? Sad
but true J
But – sitting here in my new favourite coffee
shop, I’ve decided to climb back onto the horse and reopen the flood gates and
let it all flow out. After all my blog title says it all – “Life is good –
daily thoughts and musings”.
So – let the musings begin anew and allow me to
give you a glimpse into my life again with all it’s richness and blessings –
family, friends, new experiences …and new coffee shops too.
Life is … very good JWednesday, December 14, 2011
Gulf tour
Before the last September holidays Bonnie had mentioned that she and her sister Glenys were taking a day trip to the Gulf (of Carpentaria) - did I want to join them? Yeah - sounds good, but no - can't afford it. Remember I was flying home for the holidays to be with Rob after his back operation and air fares from Horn island to Cairns are ridiculously expensive. I was trying to be careful and conservative with my spending.
But as the end of term got closer and holiday mode loomed, I began to rethink my conservative approach to spending and at the last minute sent Bonnie a text saying "count me in"! I'm so glad I did :-)
Up bright and early - the ferry leaves at 6am - and kitted out with water bottle, sunscreen, hat, camera and walking shoes, the three muskateers met at the wharf and waited for Peddell's ferry to arrive. It did and on time.
The Gulf tour starts with a 45 minute ferry trip to Seisia Jetty on the mainland where we are met by our genial host and mini bus driver and guide Jeremy. He obliges us by taking our photo standing in front of the bus to mark the beginning of the tour.
First up is a drive through the township of Bamaga and onto the Loyalty Beach caravan park for a very delicious breakfast - more so for the view than anything else.
Then it's back to the bus and for the next hour and a bit we experience a very bumpy but interesting drive to the tip of Australia. Jeremy is a very knowledgeable and pleasant guide and has lots of stories and historical information available to make the rather tedious drive just that bit more enjoyable.
Once at the Tip, he parks the bus on the beach and then we have about a twenty minute walk over rocks to the top of Australia.
The day doesn't end there. After that amazing adventure Jeremy whisks us off to lunch - and a more gourmet experience I have not had in a long time. We might as well have been in a multi star restaurant - the ambiance and the taste of our meal were beyond compare.
Jeremy drove to a beach - pristine white sand, turquoise water lapping gently onto the shore and ..... he set the table. The side of the bus folds down to make a bench/table and from underneath he retrieves a portable fridge and picnic basket. We are each given our own lunch box - a delicious roast lamb salad, juice, fruit, crackers and cheese - more than enough for a healthy appetite.
He then asked where did we want to sit - at the picnic table or on the beach. We all opted for the beach, so Jeremy - amazing guide that he is - opened the back of the bus and took out 3 folding camping chairs which he insisted on setting up for us himself on the beautiful sandy beach.
I sat for minutes just taking it all in. We could have been anywhere. I wish I had a photo but unfortunately my camera died that day so the pics I had taken of the bus, Jeremy, lunch - they don't exist :-(
We would have loved to have taken a swim or at least paddled but - you guessed it - crocs. So not a good idea in that part of the world to test the waters.
After lunch, a short walk along the beach to visit some historical graves, then back to the bus to make our way back to Seisia. On the way we stopped at the Croc Tent. This is a shop - well, actually no, it's a tent - in the middle of nowhere that sells souvenirs, t-shirts etc. It's run by a delightful young couple who have taken a sabbatical from their well paid jobs in the big city. They were enjoying their sea change, or should I say bush change, with their 7 month old baby. Don't know if I could have done it with a baby -but then again I never thought I'd ever live on TI either.
The day ends back at the Jetty, a few more pics, fond farewells to Jeremy and a leisurely ferry ride back to TI. Thanks Bonnie and Glenys for your company - it was a great day.
Rethinking spending habits - life is good :-)
But as the end of term got closer and holiday mode loomed, I began to rethink my conservative approach to spending and at the last minute sent Bonnie a text saying "count me in"! I'm so glad I did :-)
Up bright and early - the ferry leaves at 6am - and kitted out with water bottle, sunscreen, hat, camera and walking shoes, the three muskateers met at the wharf and waited for Peddell's ferry to arrive. It did and on time.
The Gulf tour starts with a 45 minute ferry trip to Seisia Jetty on the mainland where we are met by our genial host and mini bus driver and guide Jeremy. He obliges us by taking our photo standing in front of the bus to mark the beginning of the tour.
First up is a drive through the township of Bamaga and onto the Loyalty Beach caravan park for a very delicious breakfast - more so for the view than anything else.
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| Seisia Jetty - the little white ferry next to the big barge :-) |
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| Breakfast - simple, help yourself and very delicious |
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| Breakfast with a view. Glenys on the far left in red. She and Bonnie started chatting to the two guys in the middle - turns out they all went to the same school in Sydney! |
Once at the Tip, he parks the bus on the beach and then we have about a twenty minute walk over rocks to the top of Australia.
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| Over rocks and crannies to get to the top all the while enjoying this most magnificent view |
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| Bonnie (left) and Glenys at the Top |
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| Me! at the Top |
Jeremy drove to a beach - pristine white sand, turquoise water lapping gently onto the shore and ..... he set the table. The side of the bus folds down to make a bench/table and from underneath he retrieves a portable fridge and picnic basket. We are each given our own lunch box - a delicious roast lamb salad, juice, fruit, crackers and cheese - more than enough for a healthy appetite.
He then asked where did we want to sit - at the picnic table or on the beach. We all opted for the beach, so Jeremy - amazing guide that he is - opened the back of the bus and took out 3 folding camping chairs which he insisted on setting up for us himself on the beautiful sandy beach.
I sat for minutes just taking it all in. We could have been anywhere. I wish I had a photo but unfortunately my camera died that day so the pics I had taken of the bus, Jeremy, lunch - they don't exist :-(
We would have loved to have taken a swim or at least paddled but - you guessed it - crocs. So not a good idea in that part of the world to test the waters.
After lunch, a short walk along the beach to visit some historical graves, then back to the bus to make our way back to Seisia. On the way we stopped at the Croc Tent. This is a shop - well, actually no, it's a tent - in the middle of nowhere that sells souvenirs, t-shirts etc. It's run by a delightful young couple who have taken a sabbatical from their well paid jobs in the big city. They were enjoying their sea change, or should I say bush change, with their 7 month old baby. Don't know if I could have done it with a baby -but then again I never thought I'd ever live on TI either.
The day ends back at the Jetty, a few more pics, fond farewells to Jeremy and a leisurely ferry ride back to TI. Thanks Bonnie and Glenys for your company - it was a great day.
Rethinking spending habits - life is good :-)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
TI Wharf
My friends - you're going to have to induge me for a little bit longer. I still have so much of TI in me and I want so much to share it with everybody.
Last Wednesday came too fast for me. It was a bitter sweet day - bitter for the leaving of my island home and sweet for the homecoming awaiting me back here. The day dawned very overcast and grey and by the time I'd had breakfast and finished packing it was pouring rain. The wet season is about to start - if it hasn't already. I told Rob that TI was crying because I was leaving - he sort of laughed :-)
All too soon Maggie arrived in the Silverleaf Taxi. This is a great service - the two ferry services, McDonalds and Rebel, also provide free taxi pick up from either wharf to house or house to wharf. We always used McDonalds - you always got a smile and a bit of friendly banter - and that goes a along way anywhere.
Last Christmas Eve when I left the island to meet up with Rob in Cairns, I caught the ferry and was greeted by the crew wearing Christmas decorations and handing out candy canes. Once on board we were treated to cold drinks - beer, wine and soft drinks - and a cheese platter.
Daniel, who owns and runs the service with his wife Rhonda, is a graduate of Tagai high school and is truly a role model to our students. In fact, a few of the kids have part-time jobs with McDonalds as crew members.
The wharf was very crowded that day - lots of people were leaving, most of them teachers. Our much loved principal Craig and his family was also leaving TI after 17 years on the island. He and his wife Robyn met, married and had their family here - they are such a big part of this community ..... and the community came out in force to say goodbye.
And I had a small contingent come too - Prainy, Nola, Zips ... oh, and Rob :-)
All too soon, the ferry arrived, we boarded and it pulled out on its way to Horn Island. I've done that trip quite a few times now - and I always come back. It felt surreal - is this really the last time I pull away from the wharf?
Last Wednesday came too fast for me. It was a bitter sweet day - bitter for the leaving of my island home and sweet for the homecoming awaiting me back here. The day dawned very overcast and grey and by the time I'd had breakfast and finished packing it was pouring rain. The wet season is about to start - if it hasn't already. I told Rob that TI was crying because I was leaving - he sort of laughed :-)
All too soon Maggie arrived in the Silverleaf Taxi. This is a great service - the two ferry services, McDonalds and Rebel, also provide free taxi pick up from either wharf to house or house to wharf. We always used McDonalds - you always got a smile and a bit of friendly banter - and that goes a along way anywhere.
Last Christmas Eve when I left the island to meet up with Rob in Cairns, I caught the ferry and was greeted by the crew wearing Christmas decorations and handing out candy canes. Once on board we were treated to cold drinks - beer, wine and soft drinks - and a cheese platter.
Daniel, who owns and runs the service with his wife Rhonda, is a graduate of Tagai high school and is truly a role model to our students. In fact, a few of the kids have part-time jobs with McDonalds as crew members.
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| McDonalds ferry - a great way to get to TI. You can also hire the ferry for twilight cruises, either fully catered or BYO food. Downstairs is quite roomy once the seating has been removed. |
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| Friends came to farewell Craig (front left wearing black) and Robyn (cute blond lady next to him). |
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| David and Rob. David is the fire chief on TI. I met him through Rotary but actually knew of him before I went to the island - we have a mutual friend. |
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| Nola and Zips - two of my favourite people |
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| Gosh, I'm going to miss her. How will I cope? What's it all about? I'm so lucky - she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. |
No - it's a small yawo - "small goodbye" ....... life is good
Saturday, December 10, 2011
My TI friends
I'm loving being home. I love our little house, green leafy garden, welcoming front deck and the lovely array of potted plants that give it a warm , friendly feel.
True - it's still early days. I'm used to leaving the rock every three to four months, staying here a few weeks and then heading back. So I guess the test will be in January when my body clock will be getting ready to go north ..... and I don't.
TI is still vivid in my mind - the streets, the beach, the church. And the people - the beautiful, gentle, loving people - our wonderful friends who supported us for better or worse, in sickness and in health till McDonalds ferry do us part.
My friends:
Ron, Robyn and Ben
When I met this loving family I was immediately taken by their generosity. When Rob and I had to leave the pilot house, Robyn without hesitation offered us a place in their house. Robyn - I'll miss your blingy glasses and your smile. Ron - I'll miss your stories. And Ben - I'll just miss you.
Jan and Colin
Fun, loud, down to earth, caring ..... and mad - that's Jan. When Rob spent time in hospital after he'd hurt his back, Jan and Colin were regular visitors. It was also not unusual to have them call in of an afternoon while out on their daily walk. And it wasn't unusual for them to sometimes stay and share a glass of wine - great company and good fun.
Marina
Accommodation on TI is very hard to come by, and when I was thinking of staying on TI while Rob commuted around the globe, Marina kindly offered me a room in her house. I'm kind of sorry I'm not going back now - I think we would have had fun.
Pat Jones
This lady is an island identity. Pat is not ..... young, but gosh I wish I had half her energy and drive. She is actively involved in Rotary, the church, teaches RE at the primary school, volunteers at the nursing home, babysits her grandchidren regulary and helps out whenever and wherever she can. A very generous, warm lady.
Nola
Creative, fun and generous Nola is one of the very first friends that I made on TI. She couldn't come to drinks on Tuesday night because she was home making me a necklace.
My island sister
Zipporah - Zippy, Zips - my sissy. I knew of Zippy before I met her - her brother Patrick was one of the coxswains at Reef Pilots where Rob was working at the time. He told me he had a sister who worked at the high school and once I started working there I would see her around the campus.
This year we ended up in the same staff room office - and apart from the fact that I absolutely loved my job, it was Zippy who made me want to come to work every single day :-) To say that we clicked is an understatement. We were so in sync - we felt each other's joy, pain, delights, frustrations and fun. We had a lot of fun.
I miss her already and can't wait for her to come and visit ... after all, we are family :-)
My TI friends, my wonderful TI friends ....... life is good!
True - it's still early days. I'm used to leaving the rock every three to four months, staying here a few weeks and then heading back. So I guess the test will be in January when my body clock will be getting ready to go north ..... and I don't.
TI is still vivid in my mind - the streets, the beach, the church. And the people - the beautiful, gentle, loving people - our wonderful friends who supported us for better or worse, in sickness and in health till McDonalds ferry do us part.
My friends:
Ron, Robyn and Ben
When I met this loving family I was immediately taken by their generosity. When Rob and I had to leave the pilot house, Robyn without hesitation offered us a place in their house. Robyn - I'll miss your blingy glasses and your smile. Ron - I'll miss your stories. And Ben - I'll just miss you.
Jan and Colin
Fun, loud, down to earth, caring ..... and mad - that's Jan. When Rob spent time in hospital after he'd hurt his back, Jan and Colin were regular visitors. It was also not unusual to have them call in of an afternoon while out on their daily walk. And it wasn't unusual for them to sometimes stay and share a glass of wine - great company and good fun.
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| Jan and I doing our thing at the Wongai Ball. She loves wearing red - it's her colour. She's also mad, loud, fun and a good friend. |
Accommodation on TI is very hard to come by, and when I was thinking of staying on TI while Rob commuted around the globe, Marina kindly offered me a room in her house. I'm kind of sorry I'm not going back now - I think we would have had fun.
Pat Jones
This lady is an island identity. Pat is not ..... young, but gosh I wish I had half her energy and drive. She is actively involved in Rotary, the church, teaches RE at the primary school, volunteers at the nursing home, babysits her grandchidren regulary and helps out whenever and wherever she can. A very generous, warm lady.
Nola
Creative, fun and generous Nola is one of the very first friends that I made on TI. She couldn't come to drinks on Tuesday night because she was home making me a necklace.
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| On the wharf with Nola saying farewell to Peter - my dancing partner. |
Zipporah - Zippy, Zips - my sissy. I knew of Zippy before I met her - her brother Patrick was one of the coxswains at Reef Pilots where Rob was working at the time. He told me he had a sister who worked at the high school and once I started working there I would see her around the campus.
This year we ended up in the same staff room office - and apart from the fact that I absolutely loved my job, it was Zippy who made me want to come to work every single day :-) To say that we clicked is an understatement. We were so in sync - we felt each other's joy, pain, delights, frustrations and fun. We had a lot of fun.
I miss her already and can't wait for her to come and visit ... after all, we are family :-)
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| My sissy Zipporah - see the resemblance? |
My TI friends, my wonderful TI friends ....... life is good!
Monday, December 5, 2011
I'm back!!
Hi everyone - it's been a while, hasn't it? I don't know why I stayed away. So much started happening the minute we got back to TI after our last trip to Brisbane and it seemed easier to just let it happen.
In a nutshell:
* Rob went back to work at IBIS on light duties after his back operation. He lasted less than a week and had to take more time off until the pain in his back settled. With the help of physio and a few mild pain killers he returned to the servo and has worked there ever since.
But he was not happy. So after sending off a few job applications one finally came to fruition and he happily quit IBIS, his final day being last Friday.
* I went back to work at Tagai as public relations officer and hit the ground running. My predecessor, when doing a handover, had told me that speech night preparations later in the year, would be hectic and crazy. I thought - yeah, OK. I had no idea. Hectic? Crazy? Yes - and more. But what a ride :-)
Long hours, long lists, long phone calls, early mornings, memory jolts mid-sleep, panadol at the ready and a much awaited glass of wine in the evenings - it was all worth it. You know that saying "it will all work out on the night"? - well it did! It all ran like clockwork and no-one noticed the hiccups except me :-)
After that, things slowed down but only a tad. We then had to think of Graduation and after that the general winding down of the school year which also finished on Friday - being remote we finish before the other schools.
So what's happening now?
We're leaving TI - for good. Rob's new job is based in Brisbane. And while we both toyed with the idea of me staying and he commuting in between projects, in the end I make the choice to leave too. Let me share some special moments from the last few days.
* My good friend and work colleague Bonnie left on Sunday. Although not in Brisbane she has been transferred to a school in a nearby town, so we have promised to visit each other regularly. I'm looking forward to having her first stay over :-)
* Tuesday night was my last night on the island, so Rob and I invited a couple of friends to join us for a drink. What better venue than the Jardine - the very place that Rob took me to when I first came to the island 19 months ago :-)
In a nutshell:
* Rob went back to work at IBIS on light duties after his back operation. He lasted less than a week and had to take more time off until the pain in his back settled. With the help of physio and a few mild pain killers he returned to the servo and has worked there ever since.
But he was not happy. So after sending off a few job applications one finally came to fruition and he happily quit IBIS, his final day being last Friday.
* I went back to work at Tagai as public relations officer and hit the ground running. My predecessor, when doing a handover, had told me that speech night preparations later in the year, would be hectic and crazy. I thought - yeah, OK. I had no idea. Hectic? Crazy? Yes - and more. But what a ride :-)
Long hours, long lists, long phone calls, early mornings, memory jolts mid-sleep, panadol at the ready and a much awaited glass of wine in the evenings - it was all worth it. You know that saying "it will all work out on the night"? - well it did! It all ran like clockwork and no-one noticed the hiccups except me :-)
After that, things slowed down but only a tad. We then had to think of Graduation and after that the general winding down of the school year which also finished on Friday - being remote we finish before the other schools.
So what's happening now?
We're leaving TI - for good. Rob's new job is based in Brisbane. And while we both toyed with the idea of me staying and he commuting in between projects, in the end I make the choice to leave too. Let me share some special moments from the last few days.
* My good friend and work colleague Bonnie left on Sunday. Although not in Brisbane she has been transferred to a school in a nearby town, so we have promised to visit each other regularly. I'm looking forward to having her first stay over :-)
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| At the wharf to farewell Bonnie (in white top) |
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| Waving goodbye to Bonnie. My friend Zippy is on the left. |
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| Farewell at the Jardine with friends (from left) Rob, Colin, Jan, Robyn, Ron, Pat (hidden) and Marina. |
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| Rob and I sharing a drink at the Jardine |
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| Outdoor area at the Jardine |
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| Dining room at the Jardine |
* Saturday night saw most of the TI community strolling through Anzac Park, enjoying the breeze and soaking up the atmosphere at the pre-Christmas night markets. Food stalls, music, Santa arriving on a fire engine and a few craft stalls - all made for another memorable experience.
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| Rob and I on the foreshore enjoying the night markets |
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| The Torres lit up for Christmas adding to the atmosphere at the night markets |
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| At the night markets last Saturday. From left: Deb, Robyn, Craig, Me, Bonnie and Susie |
Tuesday was my last day and there was a lot to do - go to the post office to organise the mail, see AQIS about the mat that was given to Rob, final packing of boxes ready for pick up by Silent World (carriers) - and of course lunch at the Fed with friends :-)
And after lunch who could resist a swim in the beautiful turquoise waters of TI? This is what I'll miss - this view which is all around you, is never far away and is so soul nourishing.
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| Last swim on the last day - isn't it beautiful? |
Ah my friends - have I told you lately that ..... life is good?
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tombstone unveiling
Last Friday, before flying home, I was given the honour and privilege of attending a tombstone unveiling. My work colleague and friend Zipporah, or Zippy, had invited us - Rob and I - to this special event.
I first became aware of unveilings soon after arriving on the island. Some days would seem to be very quiet - hardly anyone in the shops, on the streets, and if you went out for a meal or a drink that evening - again, the place would be almost empty. On asking "where is everybody?" I'd be told - tombstone opening. Initially I was confused and shocked - they open a tombstone?!!? But now I nod and say: "Oh - that explains it".
The word "opening" is a misnomer - it's actually an unveiling. The unveilings usually take place on a weekend - this makes it easier for family and friends with work committments to attend, or if they need to come from an outer island or even the mainland. It's a big event - let me explain.
When a family experiences the death of a loved one they are naturally grieving. So to honour this time and to give them their due respect, the in-laws take over all arrangements for the funeral and wake. By in-laws I mean the extended family and/or very close and dear friends. The grieving family does nothing.
After the burial and when that family is ready to finish the grave by commissioning the headstone, they also get ready to host a tombstone opening or unveiling. This usually takes place roughly two years after the loved one's death, although this time frame can vary.
Now it is the turn of the grieving family to thank the in-laws for what they did when their loved one died - the roles are reversed. This time the in-laws are served, waited on and given gifts.
Invitations are sent out to the family, in-laws and special friends. Advertisements are also placed in the paper to invite the community. Zippy did me a great honour when she gave me a personal invitation to her cousin Gina's unveiling. Although a cousin by birth, Gina spent most of her growing up years living with Zippy and her siblings and was more like a sister than a cousin. She died at a very young age, 34, having already lived a very full and productive life but still on the threshold of a promising career - so much yet to do.
On the day of the unveiling the finished grave, with the new headstone, is covered - the headstone is actually wrapped with plastic, the grave is covered with copious pieces of material and linen, some beads, anything made of fabric - these are the gifts. The entire plot is surrounded by a temporary fence that is decorated with flowers and coloured lights and closed off by a ribbon.
The ceremony begins with a blessing and the MC then calls on a family member or friend to cut the ribbon and declare the grave opened. After this, the in-laws and close friends are called by name to stand around the grave - these are the people who looked after the family in their time of grief. Once all names are called, the group uncovers the grave by placing all the gifts which adorned it into bags. After the ceremony, they will go through the bags and choose a selection of the gifts for themselves.
But before that, they need to take down all the decorations so that the grave is again bare, except for the flowers. Unfortunately we don't get fresh flowers on T.I., so all floral arrangements are artificial. Another person is then called to read the inscription on the headstone.
After the unveiling - a closing prayer and a song. What's important to remember is that this is a time of celebration - a celebration of the loved one's life. I was told to wear something floral as it was a festive occasion.
The day doesn't end there. As with most celebrations in the Torres Strait food plays an important role and this is no exception. Later that night we enjoyed a feast - an amazing feast of traditinal food and lots of it.
The special guests are again all called by name and invited to sit at the main table. The food is placed there for their convenience and comfort. The rest of us served ourselves from the fantastic buffet tables that were literally groaning with platters and dishes of food.
And to end this most memorable day - traditional dancing - by both males and females. Zippy had been practising all week and it all finally came together on the night :-)
It was explained to me that the timing of the unveiling has to do with a couple of factors. One is financial - to finalise a grave is very expensive anywhere, let alone on T.I. which is remote and attracts freight charges along with everything else.
The next is practical: as you can see an unveiling takes a lot of work and preparation - to decorate and dress the grave, and to cater for the feasting.
And thirdly, the unveiling is a sign that the family is finally prepared to let their loved one go, to free them of their earthly binds and to let them now enjoy their new life in spirit world. My friend Julie waited seven years before finally unveiling her brother's grave - it was just too hard to let go.
I wish Rob had been with me. What a privilege to be asked to experience and enjoy this beautiful islander custom. What a wonderful way to farewell your beautiful island home.
Life - it's worth celebrating.
I first became aware of unveilings soon after arriving on the island. Some days would seem to be very quiet - hardly anyone in the shops, on the streets, and if you went out for a meal or a drink that evening - again, the place would be almost empty. On asking "where is everybody?" I'd be told - tombstone opening. Initially I was confused and shocked - they open a tombstone?!!? But now I nod and say: "Oh - that explains it".
The word "opening" is a misnomer - it's actually an unveiling. The unveilings usually take place on a weekend - this makes it easier for family and friends with work committments to attend, or if they need to come from an outer island or even the mainland. It's a big event - let me explain.
When a family experiences the death of a loved one they are naturally grieving. So to honour this time and to give them their due respect, the in-laws take over all arrangements for the funeral and wake. By in-laws I mean the extended family and/or very close and dear friends. The grieving family does nothing.
After the burial and when that family is ready to finish the grave by commissioning the headstone, they also get ready to host a tombstone opening or unveiling. This usually takes place roughly two years after the loved one's death, although this time frame can vary.
Now it is the turn of the grieving family to thank the in-laws for what they did when their loved one died - the roles are reversed. This time the in-laws are served, waited on and given gifts.
Invitations are sent out to the family, in-laws and special friends. Advertisements are also placed in the paper to invite the community. Zippy did me a great honour when she gave me a personal invitation to her cousin Gina's unveiling. Although a cousin by birth, Gina spent most of her growing up years living with Zippy and her siblings and was more like a sister than a cousin. She died at a very young age, 34, having already lived a very full and productive life but still on the threshold of a promising career - so much yet to do.
On the day of the unveiling the finished grave, with the new headstone, is covered - the headstone is actually wrapped with plastic, the grave is covered with copious pieces of material and linen, some beads, anything made of fabric - these are the gifts. The entire plot is surrounded by a temporary fence that is decorated with flowers and coloured lights and closed off by a ribbon.
The ceremony begins with a blessing and the MC then calls on a family member or friend to cut the ribbon and declare the grave opened. After this, the in-laws and close friends are called by name to stand around the grave - these are the people who looked after the family in their time of grief. Once all names are called, the group uncovers the grave by placing all the gifts which adorned it into bags. After the ceremony, they will go through the bags and choose a selection of the gifts for themselves.
But before that, they need to take down all the decorations so that the grave is again bare, except for the flowers. Unfortunately we don't get fresh flowers on T.I., so all floral arrangements are artificial. Another person is then called to read the inscription on the headstone.
After the unveiling - a closing prayer and a song. What's important to remember is that this is a time of celebration - a celebration of the loved one's life. I was told to wear something floral as it was a festive occasion.
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| The graves decorated and ready for unveiling - they have a festive look about them. This is a time to celebrate the loved one's life. |
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| Linen, flowers and gifts adorn the grave. |
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| Cutting the ribbon and declaring the gravesite opened. |
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| In-laws and friends retrieve their gifts |
The special guests are again all called by name and invited to sit at the main table. The food is placed there for their convenience and comfort. The rest of us served ourselves from the fantastic buffet tables that were literally groaning with platters and dishes of food.
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| The feast later that night. |
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| This is the main table for family and special friends who are being thanked at the unveiling. |
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| Traditional dancing marks all special occasions. My friend Zippy is in the front row, closest to the camera, in yellow. |
The next is practical: as you can see an unveiling takes a lot of work and preparation - to decorate and dress the grave, and to cater for the feasting.
And thirdly, the unveiling is a sign that the family is finally prepared to let their loved one go, to free them of their earthly binds and to let them now enjoy their new life in spirit world. My friend Julie waited seven years before finally unveiling her brother's grave - it was just too hard to let go.
I wish Rob had been with me. What a privilege to be asked to experience and enjoy this beautiful islander custom. What a wonderful way to farewell your beautiful island home.
Life - it's worth celebrating.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
T.I. weekend
Rob has been away for two weeks and yes, I do miss him .... when I get the time :-)
Friday was a designated public holiday here on T.I. - Show Day - and the shire council had organised a community fun day in the park. We loved it - perfect weather, food stalls, tents for shade, chairs to sit on and .... a talent quest.
This was the first year that the council has staged a talent quest on Show Day - and they certainly made it worthwhile - first prize was $2000, second prize $1000 and $500 for third. For that money even I was tempted to maybe face the crowd. After all I am a graduate of the Ailan Kores - I've been on stage.
But somehow I missed the cut off date for registration so I settled for being an observer. And I am so glad I did - miss the registration, that is. We are talking serious talent here, and seriously my talent is not ..... it's just not :-)
The acts were amazing, fantastic, unbelievable. Torres Strait islanders have a natural ability to sing and harmonise - they make it look so easy - and listening to them is just pure pleasure. I'm talking young or old, male or felamle - they can sing :-)
I don't have photos of the second and third place getters. Third place went to a young lad who did a sort of rap number, and second place went to a beautiful young woman, a new mum in fact, who sang a haunting ballad.
The talent quest is to be a two yearly event. This year's show attracted 19 acts and judging from its success, I am certain that the next one will be fiercely contested. Don't know if I'll be here, but it will be some show.
My Garden
Do you remember a while ago Rob - and Kacee - and I did a bit of a make over in the backyard? Well I've been working steadily since then and what was once a barren ugly piece of dirt is slowly becoming something nice.
So - all in all - my weekend has been very full. I do miss Rob and I look forward to seeing him on Tuesday when I fly down - Qantas strike permitting :-)
But it's good to be busy. And on this lovely island, so far away, life is never dull - be it doing the everyday and mundane or experiencing the island way of life.
Life is good.
Friday was a designated public holiday here on T.I. - Show Day - and the shire council had organised a community fun day in the park. We loved it - perfect weather, food stalls, tents for shade, chairs to sit on and .... a talent quest.
This was the first year that the council has staged a talent quest on Show Day - and they certainly made it worthwhile - first prize was $2000, second prize $1000 and $500 for third. For that money even I was tempted to maybe face the crowd. After all I am a graduate of the Ailan Kores - I've been on stage.
But somehow I missed the cut off date for registration so I settled for being an observer. And I am so glad I did - miss the registration, that is. We are talking serious talent here, and seriously my talent is not ..... it's just not :-)
The acts were amazing, fantastic, unbelievable. Torres Strait islanders have a natural ability to sing and harmonise - they make it look so easy - and listening to them is just pure pleasure. I'm talking young or old, male or felamle - they can sing :-)
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| The trusty Rotary sausage sizzle - Jen (bending over), Helen, Dorothy, Ron (at the BBQ) and Frank. Frank is our president. |
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| This is the winning group - the Bani brothers - they have a great sound. Notice the backdrops - they're from the music festival. The organisers donated them to the council to be used on occasions such as this. |
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| This young boy, Jack, received an encouragement award - he brought the park to a standstill. He sang "Ben". |
I don't have photos of the second and third place getters. Third place went to a young lad who did a sort of rap number, and second place went to a beautiful young woman, a new mum in fact, who sang a haunting ballad.
The talent quest is to be a two yearly event. This year's show attracted 19 acts and judging from its success, I am certain that the next one will be fiercely contested. Don't know if I'll be here, but it will be some show.
My Garden
Do you remember a while ago Rob - and Kacee - and I did a bit of a make over in the backyard? Well I've been working steadily since then and what was once a barren ugly piece of dirt is slowly becoming something nice.
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| Before - yuk! |
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| Getting there :-) The pots belong on the deck - I put them out to get a sprinkle. All of the plants have come from cuttings. |
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| The grass is slowly coming along. I've planted seeds and I sprinkle daily - it's a labour of love :-) |
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| A pretty patch in my garden :-) |
But it's good to be busy. And on this lovely island, so far away, life is never dull - be it doing the everyday and mundane or experiencing the island way of life.
Life is good.
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