Stay positive! I say it all the time - to my family, to friends, in my work and to myself. It's hard. I'm finding it hard today to be positive. I'm actually quite scared. My heart is doing little flutters and if I stop what I'm doing (and I'm not doing much - I'm all over the place) I'll cry. So I'm trying to keep busy. There's lots to do.

I'm lonely. I don't understand why I'm having to go through this again. I've been here before and I don't like it.

At the moment - life is crappy